See You Again
by Lola Witherbottoms
Summary: Drizzt is forced to come to terms with the death of the man he loves, and must learn what it means to move on. Slash, OOC.


Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Rewritten as of 10/10/08. Enjoy!

* * *

Drizzt buried his face in Artemis's hair, wrapping his arms around the man's frail body. He gave himself over to a brief moment of weakness, squeezing his eyes shut to keep back the tears. He had that feeling in the pit of his stomach, the one that told him _any day now_. Artemis was as lucid as ever, his mind still sharp and his wit biting, but still…_any day now_.

He pressed a soft kiss to the back of the man's neck, holding him even closer. Maybe if he never let go, Artemis could stay with him forever. He _needed_ Artemis. After nearly forty years together, he couldn't just suddenly be left to deal with the cold, cruel world alone.

He pulled the blankets up around Artemis's shoulders, keeping away the chill that always seemed to find him. Drizzt now served as a caretaker as well as a lover, but he didn't mind. Anything for Artemis.

The man rolled over in his arms, still fast asleep. Drizzt gazed sadly at his wrinkled face, the tangled strands of gray hair, his bony hands. He was an old man now, but whenever he opened his eyes in the morning and looked at Drizzt, they still shone as brightly as they had on their first night together.

And his eyes shone that brightly now as they winked open, immediately landing on the drow's face.

" 'Morning," Drizzt whispered, hugging Artemis close and burying his face in his hair so his tears couldn't be seen.

* * *

How could Artemis have possibly known that tonight was the night? It was beyond his fathoming. But Drizzt knew that Artemis was right, no matter how hard he tried to deny it.

They sat together on a lonely hill miles away from any city. Their horses were tethered by a copse of trees at the foot of the hill; their stamping and snorting reached the ears of the lovers, the sounds carried on the cool night breeze. The moon rose high above them, not completely full yet, but still just bright enough to illuminate the surrounding countryside.

They sat beside each other, Drizzt with his knees drawn up to his chin and his chin resting on top of them. He tried to concentrate on the pain in his lower lip as he attempted to bite through it. The menacing threat of the six-foot-deep hole behind them weighed heavily on his mind, making it all very surreal—it was going to happen. But it couldn't, could it?

But he knew. Artemis had chosen this spot, had paid to have the grave dug, only four days ago. It had made it all too real, and Drizzt had been in a fragile state of mind ever since, realizing that he had to come to terms with the situation; an open grave, ready to swallow his lover whole, nearly put him over the edge. He wasn't sure how much more he could take. Artemis had accepted it and made his peace with it. Drizzt wasn't ready yet. He wasn't even sure he could do it.

Artemis wrapped an arm around him and began to stroke his hair. It felt so good, and the dark elf leaned into the touch, squeezing his eyes shut. After tonight, Artemis would never stroke his hair again. He buried his face in the man's shoulder.

"It'll be all right," Artemis promised in a whisper.

It wouldn't be. He would be gone come morning. He wouldn't be able to mend a broken heart then.

"You can't forget that we'll see each other again in Mielikki's realm someday."

"That could be centuries," Drizzt murmured in protest. "Unless you let me—"

"No!" Artemis stopped him abruptly, angry now; Drizzt had brought this up before, to no avail. "No," he said more gently. "I could never live with myself if you did that because of me."

"You won't have to," Drizzt muttered. He knew he had gone too far, but he was upset. "You're leaving me."

Artemis didn't look mad now—only a little sad, his eyes trained on the distant horizon. "Drizzt, I'm only human. I've lived my life, and in the best way I could have ever dreamed of. All because of you. You redeemed me, and you've given me what I never deserved in the first place. I never dreamed I could be so lucky.

"Drizzt, I've lived my life, but I'm old and tired now. It's the only thing left for me to do. I love you so much—never forget that. And remember, too, that I'll see you again."

Drizzt was silent for a long while after that. He quietly digested Artemis's words and mulled them over in his mind. Of course he understood. Artemis _was_ old, and this would be a well-deserved rest for him. Drizzt knew he couldn't be so selfish. But still, one last plea left his lips.

"Don't leave me," he murmured softly, almost to himself. "You can't. I love you, Artemis."

"I love you, too," Artemis whispered back. "But…I have to." His arms closed a bit tighter around him, and for the first time Drizzt saw how scared he was. But he couldn't stop.

"No, you don't. You can stay with me. I'll always take care of you."

"I'm an old man, love. We both know I'm not long for this world."

Drizzt sniffled, not saying anything. Artemis wanted him to go on with his life—to live it. To even take a new lover, if he so desired. He couldn't imagine ever doing so, though. Artemis was saying all this for Drizzt, not for himself. He had accepted this fate long ago. "Artemis…I'm sorry."

He felt a kiss pressed to the top of his head. "I love you, too."

* * *

They didn't speak any more that night. Drizzt now lay on the ground with Artemis in his arms, wrapped up in the blankets they had brought. The drow tried not to focus on what was going to happen and gazed up at the stars, absentmindedly stroking the man's hair.

But there were still so many things he wanted to tell his lover—little things he had never said, apologies for stupid arguments, words of sympathy he had been unable to utter at the time. He still couldn't. He could only hold Artemis close, hoping to give him—and himself—some comfort.

Artemis was fast asleep as the sun broke over the horizon, still breathing. But a moment came when he took a breath, let it go, and didn't take another. Drizzt was vigilant.

He sat up, his movements mechanical as he checked for a pulse, a breath of air, any sign of life. He felt distant from the situation. This was a bad dream, that was all. He was really at home and in bed with Artemis, who was young and strong.

He was trying to convince himself of this as he wrapped the body in the blankets. He was trying to forget about reality as soon as possible. But he also knew that by doing this, he was doing himself a disservice; Artemis had wanted him to prepare his body so the drow could understand his death. Artemis had known how hard it would be.

Before he covered the beautiful face, so peaceful in the soft morning light, he kissed the man's lips a final time. He pulled away, blinking furiously to keep back the tears, and lifted the still-warm body in his arms. He lovingly lowered Artemis into the grave, then took up the shovel they had brought and began heaping dirt into the hole. He tried to keep his eyes shut as he moved methodically through his task, wanting to avoid the disconcerting sight of his lover covered in dirt.

Then he sat up and pulled the large white stone into his lap, the one he had picked out himself—Artemis had pleaded with him for this one thing—and began to carve, using Artemis's jeweled dagger. It was a simple epitaph, nothing more than a name and a brief expression of grief and love, but Drizzt thought it suited the man. He set it at the head of the grave, reread it to be sure, and nodded in firm satisfaction.

He made his way down the hill and mounted his horse, tying Artemis's alongside, and slowly trotted away.

* * *

That night he lay in bed in their small apartment. He had wrapped himself tightly in the blankets as he cried quietly into his pillow.

He had no clue how to go on without Artemis. Just being in their bedroom drove him insane. He longed for the warmth of his body, the feel of his arms, the scent of his breath. It seemed to him that at that moment he could recall every single night together—the nights when he couldn't sleep, and Artemis kept him up by telling awful, bawdy jokes, the nights filled with passionate cried, and, perhaps the best of all, the nights when they simply fell asleep in each other's arms, content. He longed for all of that.

And he couldn't have it anymore.

He pressed his face into the pillow, muffling soft sobs. He had to leave. He had to get out of the apartment, and Silverymoon, at least for a little while. Artemis had him completely surrounded, but he couldn't see or touch him.

So the next morning he filled his pack, taking food and clothes. He tucked Guenhwyvar into a side pocket and fastened his traveling cloak around his neck. He locked up the apartment, intending to return someday. He was ready to leave now.

Fifteen miles out from the city gates he slowed his horse to a trot, then stopped and tethered the animal at the foot of a hill. Swallowing hard past the lump in his throat, he made his way up to the top and sat at the foot of the patch of dirt.

"See, Art?" he whispered shakily, managing a smile through his tears. "I can endure this." He sniffed. "And don't you _dare_ think that I'm going to go find someone who can rival you. No one can." He wiped the back of his hand across his eyes. "L-love you. Always."


End file.
